Those silly people at Valve decided to try to revitalize Team Fortress 2 and bring back players growing tired of the same maps and objectives. The latest Gold Rush Update has been released to the population with the addition of the new map (Gold Rush) and gameplay type (Pay Load). The new Pay Load objective has one side pushing a cart through the map and capturing the points on the track while the other side defends. For simplicity sake, moving the cart requires you to stand near it, the more people close to it - the faster it moves. Should no one move the cart forward in 30 seconds, it will begin to travel backwards. The map’s appearance is reminiscent of its brethren, closely resembling Dustbowl.
This is not the only change, the bigger more dramatic change is the Item System that has now been added. Don’t get your hopes up too quickly though, the Item System is only beginning with the Medic right now, all other classes will have to wait. The medic has 36 new unique achievments to its own class. Acquiring a third of these will give you a new syringe gun that absorbs health from enemies. Accomplishing two thirds of these will give a medigun thats ubercharge gives 100% critical hits. Finally, collecting all of them will net you an Ubersaw, so hacking people to bits will increase your ubercharge (only four hits to fully charge).
After recently purchasing a Playstation 3 the realization of the absolute lack of desireable games is even more apparent. Owning a 360 has put me at a disadvantage though, any of those cross-platform games that are worth mentioning I already own or have played on the 360. As I stood in front of the Playstation 3 section looking for a game to go with my newly purchased Playstation 3 (with $100 off, sweet HDTV) it was once again clear that the PS3 is sorely lacking games. Now, I can’t quite remember where I heard this, but I was once told the Playstation 3 was a gaming platform. The main attraction is however the Blu Ray player, and as a gamer (and now PS3 owner), this has me very depressed.
So lets be fair, sure it has some games out, but we’re talking about being a 360 owner first, which makes those games insignificant. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a short look of the noteworthy games PS3 has to offer:
GTA IV (Cross-Platform)
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Cross-Platform)
Burnout Paradise (Cross-Platform)
The Orange Box (Cross-Platform)
Rock Band (Cross-Platform)
Assassin’s Creed (Cross-Platform)
COD4: Modern Warfare (Cross-Platform)
Ninja Gaiden Sigma
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Vegas (Cross-Platform)
Resistance: Fall of Man
Given the above list (based on GameSpot’s reviews above 8.5), we notice a bit of a trend, only two games the PS3 offers are not cross platform with the 360. Ninja Gaiden Sigma was yet another remake of the previous renditions on Xbox, it’s more like a half a game. Generating a similar list for the 360, you will see that there are considerably more games (about 13 if you’re wondering) that do not cross platform with the PS3.
This is exactly what is plaguing the PS3, owners of the 360 have absolutely no reason to buy a PS3 other than the Blu Ray player. That is of course, until MGS4 becomes the system’s saving grace. For that I’d like to say to my PS3, hopelessly sitting next to my 360 collecting dust, “see you on June 12th.”
Nintendo Wii: Worldwide24.45 million as of March 31, 2008
X-Box 360: Worldwide19 million as of April 25, 2008
Playstation 3: Worldwide13 million as of April 21, 2008
Let’s go to the horrible commentary.
PLAYSTATION 3 - DEVIL’S ADVOCATE
IT HAS A FUCKING BLU RAY PLAYER?! Do I need to say more? We have most of the games that X-Box has and sure our half-assed wannabe Wii controller is a piece of shit. Who cares? We’ll have good games eventually. Have you seen those Gran-Turismo screenshots?! That’s the shit bitch!
We brought you GTA first, you fuckers.
X-Box 360 - DEVIL’S ADVOCATE
Ever heard of a game called.. I don’t know… HALO 3? Why would you need another game? Seriously, why? That’s the best game ever. We’ll keep putting out maps for that until we put out Halo 4, and then that will be the best game ever.
No, I don’t ever wonder why our only good games are FPS’s. Sure the PC is the best place for FPS, but the PC DOESN’T HAVE FUCKING HALO 3.
Nintendo Wii - DEVIL’S ADVOCATE
First, hold this controller and point it at the screen. See that little cursor? Move the controller around! OH SNAP, THAT SHIT MOVES SON. WE’RE ON ANOTHER LEVEL, WOOOOO! We don’t have to justify our slap a new coat of paint on an old game and rake in the dollars style, we’re the KINGS OF THE WORLD!!!
While they are claiming this isn’t an official announcement, I still wet myself a little.
A statement on Diablo3.com yesterday indicated that the site was changing its URL to DiabloFans.com at Blizzard’s behest, and that it was in the process of transferring the old domain to the Diablo publisher.
Knowing that such an acquisition would send the Internet rumourmongers into overdrive, Blizzard made it clear to mockery, the administrator of the fansite in question, that “this shouldn’t be considered an announcement” of Diablo 3.
Diablo 2 is such a classic game and the desire for a Diablo 3 has been almost as prevalent as the clamoring for Starcraft 2. Knowing that SC2 is on it’s way is a benchmark on how long it will be until we see a Diablo 3. Which means we are looking at a few more years of waiting. I hope Starcraft 2 is enough to hold us over until we finally get Diablo 3.
If you are one of the unlucky bastards that isn’t fortunate enough to own a copy of GTA IV, then AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahem. Now, in an attempt to be half way useful, here are some ways to occupy yourself until you manage to swindle a friend into letting you play.
Rockstar must have balls of steel to place this much sex into GTA: IV. With things just settling over the bullshit “Hot Coffee” controversy, more shit is sure to fly, as oversensitive jackasses get hold of this “morally reprehensible” video.
What it all boils down to is the parents not giving two shits about what their kid is doing until it’s on FOX NEWS. If you are too much of a lazy fuck to keep up with your god damn kids interests, then don’t have any fucking kids to begin with. Don’t just fall in line behind blowhards who do nothing, but make money off of yelling outlandish things about stuff no one should care about. There’s a reason that GTA: IV is rated MATURE, because it’s not a kids fucking game. It’s your responsibility as a parent to make sure your idiotic kid doesn’t get his chocolate covered hands on this blood and semen soaked game. Stop trying to ruin perfectly good debauchery for the rest of us.
Although the guy playing isn’t the best at the game, you can get an insiders view on the game play, graphics, and action of GTA IV at its finest. Are you ready for this game? Did you buy the PS3/360 just to get this game? I know a couple of us here at TNR have gotten the system just to jump on this awesome looking game. Read More »
Holy god, I thought this was a joke when I first saw it, but I believe they have every intention of releasing this. Guitar Hero presents, the worst idea since boss battles… GUITAR HERO: ON TOUR!
We’re only a few days away from the release of Grand Theft Auto IV and that’s all anyone cares about right now. I definitely agree, now with the latest previews, reviews, and leaked gameplay footage floating around, it’s hard to care about friends, work, school, or family. The first review for GTA IV has been released by IGN with a whopping 10 (masterful) tacked on.
IGN’s review of GTA IV is pretty groundbreaking, it seemed like the number 10 was getting thrown around a lot lately. You had games such as, Bioshock and Halo 3 pulling 10’s out of their ass making the rating feel all too meaningless. IGN, however, is one of the few remaining credible reviewers I base my decision to buy games on. Especially since they didn’t follow suit and throw a 10 to the above games that, face it, were undeserving of the score.
It’s updates to physics like these that give me the prepubescent squeaky hyperventilating voice. You may not have heard that the Euphoria engine is on a mission to belittle ragdoll physics and tell it that it really DOES look fat in that dress. Actually, it’s likely you haven’t heard that, because I fabricated the lie just now, but that’s the feeling I get after watching the following comparison video:
Go ahead, watch it I’ll be here waiting for you … done?
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